Autobiography in 294 Words

I made my first best friend at the age of four. We both had matching Garfield Velcro sneakers and lived in the same giant apartment building.

I remember my feet getting smelly inside my jelly shoes, walking around at all the summer festivals. While my mom and stepdad fought, I’d follow as far behind them as I could.

In junior high I wore my first pair of chucks, dyed my hair black, and took up smoking.

Freshman year of high school I begged for a pair of Doc Martens. When I finally got them, I barely ever wore them. To express my individuality I decided to get a nose ring instead.

When I lost weight after high school and felt like a girl for the first time I bought a chunky pair of heels with ankle straps. I wanted attention and I got it.

I don’t remember what shoes I was wearing when I met Matt but I should have bought myself a sturdy pair of galoshes for the four years of shit I was about to wade through.

My first weekend with Brandon I was barefoot. We didn’t leave my apartment for three days straight and it was magical.

On my wedding day I wore big black vintage style pumps to match the polka dots on my dress. I got blisters from dancing and I didn’t care at all.

I wore slippers to the hospital both times I went into labor. They were a good choice and served me well as I padded around the maternity ward with my tiny babies snuggled to my chest.

As I write this I have flip flops on. I’ve been out in the sun all day, watching my children laugh, play, and sometimes cry. I am happy.


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  1. #1 by Hollie on May 10, 2012 - 6:20 am

    I love this.

  2. #2 by Shona Taylor (@CaledoniaSky) on June 20, 2012 - 2:50 pm

    This is fantastic!

  3. #3 by Theo Black on July 4, 2012 - 7:25 am


  4. #4 by Sword-chinned bitch on July 10, 2012 - 6:14 pm

    Very lovely.

    • #5 by Porkchop on July 11, 2012 - 10:51 pm

      Thank you.

  5. #6 by brittanylanz on July 12, 2012 - 11:50 am

    This is wonderful. I absolutely love it.

    • #7 by Porkchop on July 12, 2012 - 11:59 am

      Thanks so much!

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