I’ve been googling unicorn cakes today. My daughter’s turning two in a couple months and I’ve decided that the theme is unicorns. She has not expressed any interest in unicorns. Obviously I am the one with the unicorn fetish so I’m just indulging myself before she gets old enough to have her own opinion. I enjoy baking and have had good luck making fancy-ish cakes the last few years.

As has been known to happen when searching for things on the internet, I ended up coming across things I did not expect to find. Below are some cakes that people have made.

Let me say that there are many beautiful examples of unicorn cakes on the internet. I’m definitely inspired by a lot of them. However, this one confounds me. What occasion is this for? Why is there a rating on it? Why is the unicorn taking a rainbow shit? I just feel like maybe someone was making this on a lonely night while contemplating ending their own life. I really hope this helped them. It looks like there was definitely something therapeutic happening here.

I found this cake at I am impressed by many of her cakes. I admire anyone that can pull off this kind of stuff. But this Bible cake! Really! Please don’t ever buy me one of these for my birthday, not even ironically. I will hate you forever.

Same goes for this one.

On the other hand, everything about this one is RIGHT.

This one should have been my wedding cake. Seriously, when we renew our vows, I am contacting this person.

No. Just no.

Let’s party!

Alright, that’s enough making fun of other people. Let’s make fun of me now.

Here are some cakes I have made.

For nerds.

For my first monkey when he turned one.

For my BFF on her 30th. We went to our first zombie crawl.

Sloppy ghosts.

For my Bea on her first birthday. A disproportionate panda!

Oh and lastly, and perhaps most importantly, the cake from my tenth birthday. I didn’t make this one, but I ate it. And I loved every last Haim-y inch of it!

I had a bit of an obsession with the Haimster as a child. I’ll save that for another blog post.

I’m hungry now.



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  1. #1 by Sword-chinned bitch on August 30, 2012 - 10:55 pm

    I saw “Cakes” and ran right over here — what the heck’m I still doing up — it’s 2am in NYC! Goodnight. You’re a talented cake designer btw.

    • #2 by Porkchop on August 30, 2012 - 10:56 pm

      Thanks! Now go to bed! Mwah!

  2. #3 by boomiebol on August 31, 2012 - 5:33 am

    Lovely cakes!!! I can barely operate the oven so mad respect to you. I’m thinking the first cake is probably a movie theme or maybe rated E for everyone cos it’s yummy good lol.

    • #4 by Porkchop on August 31, 2012 - 12:50 pm

      Ha! You’re probably right, I just like to imagine the ridiculous.

  3. #5 by MissFourEyes on August 31, 2012 - 7:20 pm

    I love your cakes! For the pregnant cake, I wonder if they left a little surprise in the belly. I mean, if you’re going to make a cake that is pregnant, might as well go all the way right?

    • #6 by Porkchop on August 31, 2012 - 9:12 pm


      I would love to cut open that belly cake and find a little fetus cake inside! Scrumptious!

  4. #7 by mydearbakes on September 14, 2012 - 10:48 pm

    Loved your bakes! You made it looked so easy to make! =D

  1. Unicorn Power « Punks in the Beerlight

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